Cage Against the Machine: A Tail

by Alex Clarke-Poli

It took exactly 0 encouragement for me to begin curating a playlist as a supplemental resource for the Shark Cage program. After all, I've spent my whole life sharing music as a means of communicating complex emotions that I either lacked the capacity, or the confidence, to convey. 

Abusive relationships? I have songs for that. Trauma? Here's a few tunes. 

Feeling like a burden and imposter in your own skin? Here's hours of content.

Growth, healing, enforcing boundaries? .... Alright that's a new one for me, I have nothing for that yet. 

There is a jarring mixture of genres that I would like to say is a metaphor for the chaos of life. A could tell you that the intention of making a 'sad, cry, trauma, depression' playlist was unceremoniously disrupted by my real world experiences of community and support. I say a lot of things that feel right at the time but never actually tell people who I am or what I'm experiencing. 

Misguided external motivation, I told myself I was making it to assist others in their grieving.  What eventuated was 15 hours of 'look at how sad I am and how great my music taste is, tell me I'm special'. We grew together, we became grounded together and in doing so I was able to earnestly redirect my intent. 

I'll use cliche as a crutch and say that the music changed as I did. 30+ songs added at 2am fuelled by a maniacally self indulgent sad fest. Gently salved by songs of whimsical positivity gently plucked on a pleasant afternoon. It's still a very grim and concerning playlist, but there are sparkles of joy and hope amidst the darkness. 

The bulk of the playlist was put together during the intense 8 week program. But I am still adding a few songs every now and again which has pushed the time to over 25 hours. 

The majority of the task was completed and reinforced, the rest is just maintenance. 

Put on your noise cancelling headphones if you have them. Push the shuffle button and share a journey with me.