The Difference Between Worms and Humans: A Study
by Alex Clarke-Poli
This essay aims to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the human species and pretty much all worms, do have a difference. Research was conducted under controlled conditions (heavily medicated), in my own brain.
Initially it was quite a challenge to discern any difference worthy of note. After diligent research I have been able to identify a key feature unique to worms that humanity does not possess. However, I will begin by establishing a baseline of similarities to better understand our connection.
Cursed with living in a physical form:
It does seem to be a cruel cosmic joke to be unceremoniously locked into a sack of flesh. And it is. To the worms reading this, I am sorry you have been unable to transcend mortality (to my knowledge). To the humans reading this, why are you reading this?
Bones?:
I know what you're thinking, 'worms are invertebrates! That's like the one thing everyone knows about them!'.
Humans have a solid skeletal structure inside some meat, and around other meat.
It is commonly believed that the only bones vital to humanity are the 24 phalanges (toes) in the foot. The ability to stub our toes causing searing pain and embarrassment, is a well deserved evolutionary punishment.
Through countless interviews with worms a strong pattern emerges. They have a bone to pick with you. Specifically you. You chose to keep reading and now the worms are pissed. Humans: Bones. Worms: Bones (to pick with you).
Eggs:
Eggs? Eggs.
Dirt:
You are absolutely filthy, wash your hands right now. Dirty, dirty human.
Worms live in dirt....
The difference between worms and humans:
Writhing in the dirt, desperate and grateful to eat the scraps cast aside from those above. From birth, a mindless cycle of consumption and defecation, with no end. Generations of living in the dark, only venturing to the surface when the inevitable floods begin to reclaim the land.
The difference being, that worms live the same lives, but they don't have the power to do anything about it. Get your shit together.
In Chaotic Solidarity
Alex
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